Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
