No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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