my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I didn't notice because vodka
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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