I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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