I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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