4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
