make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
