My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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