Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
