OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
