ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
