Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
