question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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