imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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