Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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