the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
