The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
