It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
