I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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