He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize