Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
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