1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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