just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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