no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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