And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Shame - the story of my life.
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