do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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