i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
