is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
