That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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