can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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