I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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