Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
