TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Randomize
