who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
