so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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