My room smells like vodka and shame
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
