butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
