the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
