just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
