Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize