There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
