She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
