is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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