Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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