youre lurking in front of me
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
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