And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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