Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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