I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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