This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
