Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
