Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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