U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
You smell like stripper and shame
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
