walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
