the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
