are you so shy because you have an std?
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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