Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
