She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
